Top 3 Things My Heart Desires

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It can be scary to state out loud to the world what it is that your heart desires.

It takes guts and bravery and a bold heart. But sharing your dreams with the world also signals to the Universe that you're serious, that you're committed, that you're ready to take a leap of faith.

So, in that spirit, I want to declare to the world what my heart desires.

Here goes!

  1. To be At Peace. It's inevitable. At some point in life, we all feel like everything we try our hands at fails or simply doesn't take off the way we thought it would. We sweat, cry and even bleed to accomplish our goals so we have the ability to say we did it, but we attain it all absent of peace. Honestly, that's how I feel about the past several years of my life as an entrepreneur. My work is extremely rewarding. In fact, I live my purpose on purpose every single day. Yet, I struggle with my own lack of peace. I am a woman of deep faith but still find myself at odds with God over timing. His timing. Therefore, I am learning to patiently wait on Him to open doors that would take years in the natural world for me to have open. I'm learning to just rest and enjoy the peace He gives freely while I am busy doing the work He created me to do. I recently saw someone write on Facebook that God wants to give us "sweatless victories." He wants us to have things that we want but almost effortlessly. In 2014, I am striving for more peace and rest in the wait.
  2. To be Mindful. My life's grounding force is mindfulness. And, as my friend Jasmine writes in her Huffington Post article "practicing and moving with gratitude is an extension of mindfulness."  I, like many of you, am not always mindful. Even when I try my damnedest I don't get the mindfulness thing right. And, I reaped the result of it just this week when I learned that a dear friend from graduate school has been fighting breast cancer and is now cancer free. That's not the kicker: For months, she has been on my heart and mind but I'd failed to prioritize the phone call. After checking her Facebook timeline I learned that she was diagnosed on my birthday, October 15, in 2012. Two years ago. How could it have been that long? While I'm praising God that she has survived the fight of her life, I am so deeply saddened that I missed being there to hold up her arms when they got heavy in the fight. I spent the evening wrakking my brain trying to figure out how I missed it. I even had Mark take the timeline journey with me. We went back in our minds to 2012 to try and figure it out. We even pulled out our iCals to see where we were and what we were doing about that time. Then, it occurred to Mark... She had just visited Dallas and spent time with us just a month before her diagnosis. She didn't know. Nor did we. But, that doesn't explain the period of two years that followed. I'm still trying to find my own answers because I work so hard to be a 'good' friend. A mindful friend. But, months apart turned into years. I'm not quite sure that's really mindful?
  3. To be Free. I have this thing about freedom. I crave it. Deeply. And yet, it terrifies the hell out of me because innate to freedom is authenticity and truth. So, alas, I’m writing what needs to be written. Sharing what needs to be shared. Coming out of the closet, breaking free of my own limitations and taking the leap.

I'm writing this while taking the scariest step of my life. I'm going public with my weight loss journey. I need to lose another person almost. News to you, but hardly new for me. This is the story of my life. 

I’ve been struggling a lot -- especially, since starting my work on childhood obesity in girls -- and I haven’t been ready to share it with anyone. And alas, I’ve come to the conclusion that living a double life is doing me more harm than good. So I’ve decided to air some of my problems with the hope of helping myself, being of inspiration to you and shedding some light on a problem not all people really understand.

I am obese. And, I struggle with depression too.

There. Said it.

I won't go into much more detail here today but I wanted you to know that I'm not perfect. In fact, I am an emotional eater. I live a chaotic life of extremely high highs and low lows from time to time. And yet I’m deeply passionate about self-love, personal growth, dreams, positive thinking and living a healthy lifestyle.

All of the posts I write here are genuine. And I have found that writing about these topics gives me real joy. I guess I want to say that I truly believe in all the advice I’m giving, all the inspiration I’m spreading and all the words I share. Even though I don’t necessarily follow all of it all the time.

Sometimes I write what I do as much for myself as I write it for you. Sometimes I write what I most need to hear, and it corresponds beautifully with what you need to hear too. I love it when that happens.

Nothing will change around here. Except that for the next few months, I’ll be posting pictures of what I eat and journaling about how I feel as I try to hold myself accountable to my new fitness regime. I’m still the same Kimberly. Trying my best to be free. Fighting the biggest and most even demon I've ever fought. Me. My insecurities. My emotions. 

And I’m seeking more soulfulness. A deep spiritual experience. I want to feel more connected to myself and my God, feel oneness with others and be steeped in heartfelt love.

Phew! It feels good to be so open about the things that are lighting me up on the inside. And the mere act of stating them out loud has an unexpected potency.

I am at peace. I am mindful. I am free.

If this is you, then know this: Deep within your heart there is a desire, the achievement of which will bring you all the satisfaction and fulfilment you want. Your deepest desires can be transformed into reality and you can, indeed, live the life of your dreams. Isn’t it exciting to know that you can become the person you want to be, you can have the things you want to have in your life and you can do the things you really want to do?

That's exactly why I've created the Sisterbration MASTERMIND™ to help women like you and me produce amazing results in our life.  This program represents the culmination of many years of research into the application of the principles of self-love, and everything you need to accomplish the most amazing transformation of your life is included along with a little support from the sisterhood along the way.

Won't you join me? What does your heart desire? What things are you craving, seeking, chasing? What are your dreams? I'd love to hear them. And, I love you to join me and the other 24 women as we strive to manifest it all with peace, mindfulness and freedom.

Dr. Kim

Dr. Kimberly S. Clay, aka Dr. Kim, is Executive Director and founder of Dallas-based charity, Play Like A Girl!®. On a mission to inspire women and girls across the globe to live a happy, healthy and active lifestyle, Dr. Kim has set out to finally triumph in her own struggle with obesity by creating what she calls her "best me yet" in 2014-15. Sisterbration is the space she has dedicated to documenting the journey and her musings.

9 Comments

  1. katrinamcghee

    22 February, 2014 at 7:24 am

    Dr. Kim, welcome to the land of the free! For to be honest with one’s self, and then brave enough to share it with the world truly catapults you to another time and space. I am so happy for you! I stand with you on this journey – as your walking buddy, cheer leader, and sister friend who’s working to be everything God created her to be. We can do this, together! Love and Hugs, K ❤

    • Dr. Kim

      26 February, 2014 at 11:37 am

      Katrina, thanks for cheering me on! The journey is tedious but rewarding. I can’t say enough about how cathartic it was to share my truth openly with you and the hundreds of other women (and men) who have read this post since last week. Unbelievable, too, how popular this one post has been.

      I’m so excited about what lies ahead. Thanks for granting me permission. I honestly needed it! 🙂

  2. Deb King

    20 February, 2014 at 12:11 pm

    Dr. Kim, I love your post. I know for me my healing started when I was able to acknowledge all that I was and all that I was not. This was certainly not a statement of accepting this is it, this is all I will be. But, instead, this gave me a starting point to grow with a healthy perspective versus the perspective that there was something wrong with me. So I applaud and encourage your courageous act to be transparent. I am drawn to people who are transparent as I found that I can spend my time on my growth instead of hiding from myself.

    Through 28 yrs of being clean and sober, I have replaced drugs and alcohol with other items. Workaholic, spending, over doing, cigarettes, and all other pleasurable acts, until I am left with one…food. So I hear you on that!! What God recently revealed to me is I used all those methods not for pleasure, not for escape but for self punishment and hurting myself. I would rather feel the pain of punishment ( actually more comforable with it) then to feel my feelings. So I started the journey again with my food and to use it as a reward of self health rather than self destruction.

    My heart’s desire is to lead individuals/family into recovery through my speaking, teaching, counseling and writing about my own. Today I know my past is not my shame, but God’s testimony. I will be praying for your hearts desire and journey.

    • Dr. Kim

      20 February, 2014 at 12:27 pm

      Deb, blessings to you as you lead others to a life of clean and sober living! It is always great to have someone who understands struggle to support us on the journey. Thanks for sharing and providing feedback on today’s post. It means so much!

    • Dr. Kim

      26 February, 2014 at 11:44 am

      Deb, be sure to come back and update your profile pic. Show off that bright red hair and beautiful smile you have!

  3. Dr. MJ (@ImperfectMeLLC)

    20 February, 2014 at 11:43 am

    Sharing your heart with the people you know and those you don’t is a very courageous act. I applaud you for taking a stand and not hiding behind any faces or facades…simply allowing the truth of who you are to be revealed. If we all lived in our truth our lives would be full of contentment.

    Kudos to you. I am with you, a FORREAL Sisterfriend. I know your faults – you know mine. No competition just cooperation. #letsgo #betrue #truefriend

    • Dr. Kim

      26 February, 2014 at 11:39 am

      Let’s do this! We’ve got to get these old bods into bathing suits for our trip to Miami in May!!! Yep, we’re going to the MIA! So, get your P90x or whatever you need to get you right. Regrettably, I’ve enlisted Mark to train me. Lawd, help me!

  4. Shawna

    20 February, 2014 at 11:34 am

    This is an awe inspiring post, Dr. Kim. Thank you so much for your drive and passion to help women (and others in general). In reflection, three things I want to send out to the universe are: 1. To continue to love others whole-heartedly despite past hurts, yet love myself enough to know when to remove myself from situations that do not benefit me. 2. To figure out what exactly is my true God-given calling in life (bringing my greatest fulfillment) and make strides to incorporate it in a means conducive to myself and my immediate family. 3. To get out and live life a little more, enjoy it and be happy in the process.

    • Dr. Kim

      26 February, 2014 at 11:42 am

      Shawna, thanks for sharing your heart’s desires with me and the rest of our readers. I was especially moved by your first because “loving above the offense” is a spiritual principle I have had to learn in my relationships — especially romantic ones. And, I’ve become a much better friend and lover because of it. I can also attest that living in a space that allows you to forgive and move forward really benefits the other party as well. Keep moving in that direction…love, forgive and move on! Know that I appreciate your feedback and would love to hear more from you here at Sisterbration.com. And, please do share this community with other women you love!

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